Being someone who is always trying to please others may have its benefits in your social life. However, if you are a people pleaser, the desire to please others can interfere with your quality of life, as you often have to sacrifice yourself and feel stressed or anxious.

What is a People-Pleaser?

A people pleaser can be defined as a person who always feels a great desire to please and fulfill the needs and demands of others, even if it means sometimes sacrificing their own interests.

They can change their words and behaviors and give their time and energy to please others and make them like themselves. For people-pleasers, they often feel that their own needs are not important, so they prioritize the pleasure of others.

People pleasers may be seen as kind, friendly, and helpful to others. But sometimes people with this personality risk struggling to stand up for themselves because they find it difficult to say no, which can lead to self-sacrificing or self-defeating habits.

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Risks of Being a People-Pleaser

The truth is, people-pleasing is not always a bad thing. In social life, it's important to have good relationships with friends, bosses, and family. But it becomes a problem if you always give in to other people's wishes, either to get validation or approval from others and boost your self-esteem. When this pattern of behavior keeps repeating itself to the point that you hurt and sacrifice yourself, one day you may feel or experience the following:

• Triggers stress and anxiety due to feeling resposible for other people's happiness
• Becoming neglectful of one's own health
• Loss of identity
• Experiencing emotional distress
• Being taken advantage of by others because they know that you won't reject them

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How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser

Being a people pleaser can drain your energy. If you realize that you are a people-pleaser and it is starting to interfere with your personal life, you should try to stop slowly. Some ways you can stop being a people pleaser include:

Set clear boundaries

It is important to know the fine line between what you can help with and what you cannot. If someone asks for more help than you can give in terms of time, energy, or materials, it's best to say firmly that you can't give that help. By setting clear boundaries, you won't be providing help that is beyond your means, which will help you avoid stress and other mental health issues.

Start small

It takes time to change the habit of being a people-pleaser. To break the habit you can start from small steps that you can do such as learning to refuse, learning to express your opinion, and asking others for things you need.

Set your priorties

Pleasing others can take up all the time and energy you have. To keep your time and energy from being focused on others, it's a good idea to reorganize your goals and priorities. By knowing your priorities, you can know if you have the time and energy to do something.

Think before you act

When someone asks for your help, take a moment to think before deciding whether or not to help them. When thinking, reconsider the time, effort, and thought you will put into the favor and what the benefits and risks are for you. By considering these things, you can make the decision that is best for you.

Being a people pleaser may give the impression that you are a kind and helpful person. But being a people pleaser without clear boundaries also risks neglecting your mental and physical health. If you have questions about how to stop being a people pleaser, you can consult a doctor or use the consultation feature on the Ai Care application.

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